A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
if only i could text you this smell
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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