i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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