Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
