You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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