dude i'm inner monologue high
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
