i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
