I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i dont even know how to be here
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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