I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
She just used a chaser for red wine.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
The uberlube is also flammable
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
