So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
