Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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