so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
