At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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