I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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