Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
