my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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