it was like his penis was on wheels.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
