Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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