i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
