i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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