People with herpes should wear stickers.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
