she looked like the bat from fern gully.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
