I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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