Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
