Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
