My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
