i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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