dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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