just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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