In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
