I think I won the penis lottery.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
