He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
