I love black thongs
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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