Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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