Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
