Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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