Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
