I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
