Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Randomize
