In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
