Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
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