I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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