DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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