We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
