sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize