well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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