I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
