Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
