We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
