So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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