thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
