Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I am available for nakedness
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
