Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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