I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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