she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I puked a lego.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Randomize
