She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
