I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
