no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
