was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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