Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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