You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
