Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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