you have to choose: penises or morals?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
