i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
