i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
