If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
