Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I can text with my tongue
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
