I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
