its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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