Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
