Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
