is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
