Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
